The Sweetness of my Savior

Since writing the previous post and struggling through all the emotions and difficulties of this past year, God has proven Himself to be a sweet Savior.

I have been reading the book, When Sinners Say “I Do” and its focus is on the power of the gospel for marriage. While I started reading this book out of a desire to be a better wife, I have found that its truths, that is, the beauty of the gospel, have been a salve of grace to my heart. 

I’d like to share with you some of the quotes that have really changed my focus.

“Your spouse was a strategic choice made by a wise and loving God...revealing the familiar sin so that it might be overcome by amazing grace.” Substitute spouse with any aspect of your life; your job, child, situation and the meaning still applies. God chose this path for me. He strategically brought a more difficult work situation this year to reveal sin in me. The book uses the illustration of a lawnmower whose engine is filled with oil. My heart is the engine and the oil is my depravity.  However, the cap to the oil is loose and as the engine heats up (circumstances in my life), oil spews out. It’s not the heat’s fault that this happened. The heat didn’t fill the engine with oil. That sin was already there in my heart and the heat just revealed what was there. It’s so easy to blame my bad attitude and lack of content on my circumstances. I often let myself play the “if only...” game. But the reality is that it was God’s intention for this past year to be difficult. Why? To reveal the oil that exists inside my heart because He desires to make me pure. It’s all part of His “rescue mission for my life,” as Dave Harvey says. Rather than complain, rather than focusing on the circumstances, I ought to be thanking God for His refining work in my life.

“Focus on undeserved grace, not unmet needs.” James 4 says that conflicts arise within us because “our passions are at war.” And what are those passions? Culture would tell us that those may be unmet needs in our lives. We have emotional needs, physical needs, etc. However, Scripture says that Christ is the only true “need” that we have. He is all-fulfilling and all-satisfying. I found that I have confused my desires and wants and have labeled them as needs. Dave Harvey says, “If my desire is so strong that I am tempted to sin, then the problem is entirely me.” If my desire for an easier school load, fairness, respect, or whatever causes me to sin, then that is my issue. It wasn’t those desires that caused the sinful response in me, but my own depravity that turned them into needs. 

Focusing on God’s overwhelming grace poured out on my life and recognizing that I am not deserving makes all the difference in light of difficult circumstances. Knowing that they were orchestrated by a God who is more concerned about my holiness than my happiness (thank you, Natalie Bullock) ought to make me long for the difficult days. They are evidence of God’s mark on my life and His desire to make me more like Himself. May I find pure joy in that and allow that joy to occupy my heart rather than the discontent and uncertainty I battle with on a daily basis. 

Praise God for the sweetness of His gospel and His outpouring of grace because, man, I need it.