When God Says No

If I’m honest, I like to be in control. I like planning lots of minute details and organizing but really, it’s a control thing. I convince myself that if I can plan enough and put in enough effort, I will be successful. 

What I forget is that I’m a sinner, covered by God’s grace and not by my own efforts or plans. My life is not my own, but I have surrendered it to Christ. That means my family, my goals, my desires, and especially, my plans.

I was so excited to bring Rafa to Ohio: show him my house, eat tons of Christmas goodness, introduce him to Reese Puffs and Panera bagels, let him experience snow and real cold. It was even beginning to creep into my dreams, although they were somewhat twisted as Rafa and I were just “on vacation” in the dreams. We had a list going of the things we wanted to buy.

We planned and we planned for this visa appointment. We got together all the necessary documents plus some, waited and waited for our marriage license to finally get the apostille, and prepared for the questions they might ask him. But the visa appointment time came and God said no. 

No reason, no hope for a change, just ‘no.’ So not what we were expecting and so not the perfect answer to my plans. I felt so sad. We didn’t get it. Was God trying to punish us for something? Had we not sought His will so fervently in prayer? 

But ultimately, faith is not about trusting with a reason. It’s about trusting in a sovereign God even when we can’t see behind the curtain of our lives. And this will stretch our faith, drawing us closer to Him and allowing us to rely upon Him in a new way. 

So I’m sad, but I know His ways are higher than mine.

On a happier note, school is going well. I’m feeling more organized and having some success with my students academically. My 8th grade students just finished a neat project creating pictures out of equations using an online graph. My 11th graders in Pre-Calc finally feel successful and enjoy participating in class. And my Calculus student is just as nerdy as I am and loves the hard stuff. 

We also just had Fall Festival, which is a big fundraiser/carnival for our school. I got doused in flour and water (again!) and had to spend 30 minutes brushing it out in the shower. Our group won the most tickets with this game and a soccer shootout which means there’s a pizza party in our future! I have pics but they haven’t made it to the computer yet.

Rafa and I celebrated 3 months of marriage just a few weeks ago. He showed up at home with gorgeous roses and my favorite snack, tequeños. 

Remember the girl I mentor once a week? I have recently seen growth in her life and a sincere desire to follow Christ. We continue to meet over coffee after school and are going through a short study on Scripture that teaches us how to desire God. Excited to be seeing change and praying that God will fan those flames that He has ignited in her.

Ways you can be praying for us: 

~Pray for travel plans in December. I still need to leave the country to renew my visa and we need to call the airline to see what our options are.

~Teachers had to announce their decision for theirs plans for next year and many will not be returning. Pray for God’s provision of new teachers and for additional enrollment this coming year. Hiring season begins in January.

~Health of Rafa’s parents and my nice Arlet. Rafa’s dad is undergoing treatment for cancer but seems to be doing well. His mom suffers from neck pain and both are in their 70’s and 80’s. Arlet was hospitalized for a few days with stomach problems. She is doing well now but needs to be gaining more weight.

~Salvation of our students. Out of 25, only about 5 would say they are Christians and even fewer are really living out their faith. They’ve heard the gospel so many times but don’t want to live their lives for a higher authority. Trusting that God’s at work even when we don’t see results. 

~That my dad would find a job. It’s hard being here when I know my family’s going through a difficult time.