Patience my child...

Lately God’s been teaching me an important lesson and one that I’m afraid will take me a lifetime to learn...the lesson of patience and of joy in the waiting.


I would not characterize myself as a patient person, but neither would I say, am I characteristically impatient. In general, I’m convinced I can work hard and plan well enough that patience becomes unnecessary....And then I moved to Caracas.


I love this city. But it is a love that comes by choice. It is certainly not an easy city to live in. While one look at the mountains outside my window in the morning puts a smile on my face, the traffic, continuous tardiness, and outrageous cost of living threaten to steal that smile every day. It’s a constant battle of patience, a choice to be frustrated or to reach down and find that silver lining. In bumper to bumper traffic I’ve learned the blessing of being in good company. In consistent tardiness, I’ve learned to take a moment to breathe and find someone to converse with. 


Yet all of these have a definite end: the traffic loosens up eventually, those who are running late make it after an hour or two. It’s easy to patient when it only requires a moment of your time. I now, however, find myself in one of those situations where the timeline of patience has no ending point. Of course there’s a long list of possible ending points, all invented by me in my own idea of perfect timing. 


I am so excited about my future here and all that the Lord will provide, but waiting for the Lord’s perfect timing and doing so with joy has not been so easy. In a city of 6 million, housing is already hard to find. What is out there is ridiculously expensive, rent costing over $1,000 a month and apartments/houses running from $100,000-$700,000 if you want to buy. And if you think you can just get a loan from the bank, think again. Interest rates are around 20% because of the high inflation rate. Cars are also 4 to 5 times the price as they are in the States, making up for the fact that gas is pennies per tank. In my limited mindset, I see all these complications in trying to live here long term. It will surely not be an easy road. And yet I still feel called here and I continue to follow in that calling. I know that God’s provision and His timing are bigger than all the hurdles Caracas may throw at me. 


And so I find myself before the Lord, on my knees, plan-less, and in need of patience. And that’s exactly where He wants me right now, in humility before Him, recognizing that He’s in control. I have not fallen from His hand and His eyes have not strayed from me. He’s simply asking that I continue to wait. While in my own strength this seems impossible, I know that He will provide the patience I need each day. God’s plans never fail and He is always at work to bring about my good and His glory.


Yesterday I heard a song that encourage me. I’m going to translate it line by line. For those of you Spanish-speakers that may be reading this, I apologize ahead of time for any bad translation. 

Esperar en ti: Jesus Adrian Romero

Esperar en ti (To wait on you)
Difícil se que es (I know that it’s difficult)
Mi mente dice no (My mind says no)
No es posible. (It’s not possible)

Pero mi corazón (But my heart)
Confiado esta en ti (It trusts in you)
Tu siempre haz sido fiel (You have always been faithful)
Me haz sostenido. (You have sustained me)

Y esperare pacientemente (And I will wait patiently)
Aunque la duda me atormente (Even though doubt torments me)
Yo no confío con la mente (I don’t trust with the mind)
Lo hago con el corazón. (I do it with the heart)

Y esperare en la tormenta (And I will wait in the storm)
Aunque tardare tu respuesta (Even though your response is late)
Yo confiare en tu providencia (I will trust in your providence)
Tu siempre tienes el control. (You are always in control)